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“You are BRCA2 positive.”
Nothing prepares you for hearing those words. Not even when you know the breast cancer gene runs in your family.
Receiving that positive test in 2019 expedited our family planning. In 2020, we welcomed our second child (a baby girl!). In November of 2021, just 8 weeks after completing my breastfeeding journey, I had a prophylactic mastectomy.
I had always said that if we were able to have a third child, “fed is best” and that baby would thrive on formula just as much as our first two thrive on combo feeding. I always joke that “no one asks you if you were breastfed on your college applications or job interviews,” and I was completely fine with the fact that this baby, due in June of this year, would be formula fed.
Unfortunately, in the climate of “baby-dom,” there is an unnecessary pressure placed on parents to ensure that your baby receives breast milk or is breastfed in some way shape or form. This comes from every provider across the continuum, the “social media” space, family and friends. I experienced it myself during encounters with many health care providers, who despite knowing my medical history, continue to ask me if I will breast feed, send me forms to order breast pumps, and counsel me on the “dangers of formula feeding.”
As a previvor, the need to constantly advocate for yourself and your children can be exhausting. But it’s also incredibly important for you and your family. I want to empower all parents — previvors or not – to advocate for the choices they make about their health and their child’s health.
I’m writing this to remind you that it’s okay to formula feed, for whatever reason. It’s your prerogative. And it’s also okay to recognize that your provider isn’t working out for you, and it’s okay to move on and find another that can support you and your baby’s unique needs.
And if you’re a previvor and you find yourself in the same position as I did, not knowing how to advocate for yourself, here is an email I sent my provider after telling them multiple times that I am unable to breastfeed. I am honored to be a member of the Bobbie Breastie 2024 cohort, receiving a year’s supply of free formula to help me feed my baby. It was actually the Bobbie Breasties community that gave me support and encouragement to send this email to my provider.
